I just finished my third and final run-walk of Week 1. And it by no means felt "easy." As exhilarated as I am at having completed the first week of the C25K program, it is with trepidation that I contemplate beginning Week 2. Instead of running for 1 minute and then walking, Week 2 will require that I up my running to 1.5 minutes. That probably seems like a tiny increase to most but to me it seems huge. By my last two runs in Week 1 I am literally counting down the seconds till a minute is up. I am not certain I'll be able to manage another 30 seconds. I wonder if I should maybe repeat Week 1 until I gain some more confidence (and stamina). Yet I suppose I won't know if I can do it until I try - so for the moment, I will be starting Week 2, run #1 on Monday. I will see how it goes and if I feel like I can't keep it up I will just repeat Week 1 again. No harm in that. But there's also no point in giving up before I even try.
#4. I like that I can cook and that people enjoy eating my cooking!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Day Two - Couch to 5K
Boy, am I ever missing the couch.
Is it possible that Day Two was harder than Day One? Maybe because my body knows what to expect and is rebelling - "holy s**t! You're doing this to me AGAIN?!"
I started out feeling great - energized and ready to run-walk (or "ralk" as my husband likes to call it). By the time I was half way through I was starting to huff and puff quite a lot and knew my face was likely beet red (I am ruddy complexioned to start with so it doesn't require much exertion for me to turn the colour of a cooked lobster). By the second last run, I was telling myself "you can do this! Don't give up" because my legs were telling me they wanted to give up. On the 8th and final run it took all I had just to finish those last ten seconds. My app congratulated me on finishing and reminded me to maintain a brisk walk for five minutes to cool down. Ha! I felt more like I was stumbling for five minutes. It felt good to stretch after the cool down and I tried not to be too discouraged by how wrecked I felt after doing only 8 measly minutes of running (and not even consecutively)! But I recognize this as typical "me" behaviour. If things don't happen right away I get discouraged. I am also known for being great at coming up with ideas and making plans but not so great on the follow through. So recognizing that, I need to keep telling myself that every day I complete this program I am getting closer to my goal of running 5K and being healthier. It seems so far off at this point. It will not happen overnight.
#3. I like the fact that I have slim ankles that seemingly stay slim no matter how much weight I gain.
Is it possible that Day Two was harder than Day One? Maybe because my body knows what to expect and is rebelling - "holy s**t! You're doing this to me AGAIN?!"
I started out feeling great - energized and ready to run-walk (or "ralk" as my husband likes to call it). By the time I was half way through I was starting to huff and puff quite a lot and knew my face was likely beet red (I am ruddy complexioned to start with so it doesn't require much exertion for me to turn the colour of a cooked lobster). By the second last run, I was telling myself "you can do this! Don't give up" because my legs were telling me they wanted to give up. On the 8th and final run it took all I had just to finish those last ten seconds. My app congratulated me on finishing and reminded me to maintain a brisk walk for five minutes to cool down. Ha! I felt more like I was stumbling for five minutes. It felt good to stretch after the cool down and I tried not to be too discouraged by how wrecked I felt after doing only 8 measly minutes of running (and not even consecutively)! But I recognize this as typical "me" behaviour. If things don't happen right away I get discouraged. I am also known for being great at coming up with ideas and making plans but not so great on the follow through. So recognizing that, I need to keep telling myself that every day I complete this program I am getting closer to my goal of running 5K and being healthier. It seems so far off at this point. It will not happen overnight.
#3. I like the fact that I have slim ankles that seemingly stay slim no matter how much weight I gain.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Day One - Couch to 5K
Day One loomed as a haze of acrid smoke hung over the city like a heavy curtain (apparently caused by forest fires raging in Central Quebec???) Probably not the best day to start a running program but I had made a plan and I was sticking to it, no matter what.
After a 5 minute warm-up walk and stretching, I set out on my first run-walk (1 minute running, followed by 1.5 minutes of walking x 8). At first I felt kind of silly running for such a short time before walking again but I got over it pretty fast. I'm not paying attention to anyone else and I'm sure they're not paying any attention to me.
It's amazing how out of shape I am. One minute of running and I am ready to start walking again. Although, oddly enough my shins felt better when I was running as opposed to walking. I downloaded an app for my iPhone called "Get Running" and it has a soothing British woman's voice telling you when to walk and when to run, how long you've got left, etc. I quite appreciated her upbeat tone and encouraging words. I ended with a 5 minute cool-down walk and more stretching and then homeward.
Final verdict: it was harder than it sounds (especially for someone as couch-bound as I've been the last year) but not impossible. It felt good to get moving again. I am taking tomorrow off (as advised by my app) and will be back for Day Two on Wednesday. I may try to do Pilates on the days when I'm not running.
#2. I like the fact that I have a decent sense of humour and can laugh at myself (most of the time).
After a 5 minute warm-up walk and stretching, I set out on my first run-walk (1 minute running, followed by 1.5 minutes of walking x 8). At first I felt kind of silly running for such a short time before walking again but I got over it pretty fast. I'm not paying attention to anyone else and I'm sure they're not paying any attention to me.
It's amazing how out of shape I am. One minute of running and I am ready to start walking again. Although, oddly enough my shins felt better when I was running as opposed to walking. I downloaded an app for my iPhone called "Get Running" and it has a soothing British woman's voice telling you when to walk and when to run, how long you've got left, etc. I quite appreciated her upbeat tone and encouraging words. I ended with a 5 minute cool-down walk and more stretching and then homeward.
Final verdict: it was harder than it sounds (especially for someone as couch-bound as I've been the last year) but not impossible. It felt good to get moving again. I am taking tomorrow off (as advised by my app) and will be back for Day Two on Wednesday. I may try to do Pilates on the days when I'm not running.
#2. I like the fact that I have a decent sense of humour and can laugh at myself (most of the time).
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Ottawa Race Weekend
So race weekend in my hometown of Ottawa is winding down. Thousands upon thousands of endorphin fueled runners have passed by my apartment building window and crossed the finish line, silver space blankets draped on their backs like superhero capes. In a way, that's an appropriate image for what I think they have achieved - almost super heroic feats of endurance, stamina and strength. That is something I could never do, right?
I have long held the opinion that there are runners, and then there are the rest of us. Some people are born to be runners and some are born to other, perhaps more intellectual, pursuits. Surely never the twain shall meet? I always lumped myself into the latter category: running just wasn't for me. Sure, I'd tried running before but I always tried to do too much too soon and ended up hurting and giving up, convinced that I just wasn't cut out for running. I enjoyed other physical pursuits like walking, biking and martial arts so why push myself to do something I didn't enjoy? But lately I have come to believe that all this talk about runners and non-runners is just tosh and that the human body is designed to run, and in fact thrives on such activity. I just told myself I wasn't the running type because I had failed at running in the past. It was a cop out. I had just been going about it the wrong way. Slow and steady wins the race, so to speak.
So this is the start of my journey to finally lose my pregnancy weight (and more), to go from the couch to 5km in about 2 months, and to generally find more balance and health in my life. My specific goals over the next year are to run 5 or 10km at next year's race weekend, lose 60lbs, and to be a more energetic wife and mother. And as clichéd as it may sound, I just want to learn how to love myself and my body and stop obsessing so much about it. Hating myself is just so damn exhausting. I owe it to myself and to my family to achieve these goals. I started this blog because I wanted to have a place where I could document my progress, challenges, setbacks, and successes. I don't actually expect anyone to read these posts but just knowing that they are out there in the public domain gives me the sense that I'm accountable to someone beyond myself.
The plan for eventually being able to run 5km continuously is to start off slowly: starting tomorrow, I will go out three times a week and will begin running for 1 minute, then walking for a minute and a half, and so on until I've completed a half hour of run-walking. Then I gradually decrease the walking time until I'm able to run 5km straight. I know that the first couple of weeks are going to hurt. My poor flabby body will not know what hit it. But I am hoping that after the first few weeks my body will adjust to the new activity and start to actually move in a manner that could loosely be called athletic. To complement the running, I will also start doing Pilates again which I haven't done in years but which I remember finding to be a wonderful way to stretch and tone my body. It seems almost lifetimes ago that I remember looking in the mirror while bending over to pick something up and not seeing ripples of fat and skin around my middle. These days I look at my c-section and stretch-mark scarred twin belly and have a hard time believing it will ever return to a semblance of toned-ness. I don't have unrealistic expectations - I am not imagining I will ever have washboard abs - I'd just like to be able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes without putting on several layers of supportive undergarments (even then it's a tight squeeze)! I would also like to start doing yoga a couple times a week when possible because I need a way to find some mind-body harmony and a calm, meditative state and I think that yoga may be the key. Plus, my sister just happens to own a yoga studio in town so I will be able to go to classes for free.
As far as the food thing goes, I know that food and I have a long, messed-up relationship. I absolutely adore food, from buying it to preparing and eating it (strangely enough though I hate cleaning up after said preparation and consuming). I have a tendency to eat when I'm bored, sad, stressed, angry, happy, guilty, etc. - a textbook emotional eater. So I know I have a long road ahead of me when it comes to working out those issues and getting to the heart of why I eat my emotions. Is it maybe because I want to stuff them deep down into my gut? Do I think I can avoid dealing with them by just gobbling them up and forgetting about them? Not surprisingly, that never works. They just bubble back up to the surface sooner or later, usually accompanied by a hefty serving of guilt and a sense of failure. My food goal this year will not include the words "diet" or "deprivation" because those are only short-term solutions that don't target the reason why I have allowed myself to gain so much weight over the years. My goal is to change my approach to food entirely and in the end affect a more holistic lifestyle change. I want to look at food in a more neutral fashion and not see my food choices as profoundly negative or positive. Food is nourishment, and shouldn't represent my ultimate failures or successes as a person. Again, like with my relationship with my body, I want to stop obsessing so much about food. I just need to let go.
Each time I post I also want to try naming one thing I like about myself, whether that is something about my body, my personality, whatever. It feels awkward doing this now but I hope that over time it will become more natural. It isn't supposed to be an exercise in self-flattery but a way for me to reprogram the way I see myself. It is so much easier for me to think about all the things I hate about myself and I need to create a balance. I am not going to be willfully blind to my flaws - I just want to put the focus on my strengths in the hopes that it will help me accept myself more (flaws included). Here goes:
#1. I like the fact that I have a body that was able to nourish and give life to two beautiful babies for 35 weeks and 2 days (just under term for twins).
I have long held the opinion that there are runners, and then there are the rest of us. Some people are born to be runners and some are born to other, perhaps more intellectual, pursuits. Surely never the twain shall meet? I always lumped myself into the latter category: running just wasn't for me. Sure, I'd tried running before but I always tried to do too much too soon and ended up hurting and giving up, convinced that I just wasn't cut out for running. I enjoyed other physical pursuits like walking, biking and martial arts so why push myself to do something I didn't enjoy? But lately I have come to believe that all this talk about runners and non-runners is just tosh and that the human body is designed to run, and in fact thrives on such activity. I just told myself I wasn't the running type because I had failed at running in the past. It was a cop out. I had just been going about it the wrong way. Slow and steady wins the race, so to speak.
So this is the start of my journey to finally lose my pregnancy weight (and more), to go from the couch to 5km in about 2 months, and to generally find more balance and health in my life. My specific goals over the next year are to run 5 or 10km at next year's race weekend, lose 60lbs, and to be a more energetic wife and mother. And as clichéd as it may sound, I just want to learn how to love myself and my body and stop obsessing so much about it. Hating myself is just so damn exhausting. I owe it to myself and to my family to achieve these goals. I started this blog because I wanted to have a place where I could document my progress, challenges, setbacks, and successes. I don't actually expect anyone to read these posts but just knowing that they are out there in the public domain gives me the sense that I'm accountable to someone beyond myself.
The plan for eventually being able to run 5km continuously is to start off slowly: starting tomorrow, I will go out three times a week and will begin running for 1 minute, then walking for a minute and a half, and so on until I've completed a half hour of run-walking. Then I gradually decrease the walking time until I'm able to run 5km straight. I know that the first couple of weeks are going to hurt. My poor flabby body will not know what hit it. But I am hoping that after the first few weeks my body will adjust to the new activity and start to actually move in a manner that could loosely be called athletic. To complement the running, I will also start doing Pilates again which I haven't done in years but which I remember finding to be a wonderful way to stretch and tone my body. It seems almost lifetimes ago that I remember looking in the mirror while bending over to pick something up and not seeing ripples of fat and skin around my middle. These days I look at my c-section and stretch-mark scarred twin belly and have a hard time believing it will ever return to a semblance of toned-ness. I don't have unrealistic expectations - I am not imagining I will ever have washboard abs - I'd just like to be able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes without putting on several layers of supportive undergarments (even then it's a tight squeeze)! I would also like to start doing yoga a couple times a week when possible because I need a way to find some mind-body harmony and a calm, meditative state and I think that yoga may be the key. Plus, my sister just happens to own a yoga studio in town so I will be able to go to classes for free.
As far as the food thing goes, I know that food and I have a long, messed-up relationship. I absolutely adore food, from buying it to preparing and eating it (strangely enough though I hate cleaning up after said preparation and consuming). I have a tendency to eat when I'm bored, sad, stressed, angry, happy, guilty, etc. - a textbook emotional eater. So I know I have a long road ahead of me when it comes to working out those issues and getting to the heart of why I eat my emotions. Is it maybe because I want to stuff them deep down into my gut? Do I think I can avoid dealing with them by just gobbling them up and forgetting about them? Not surprisingly, that never works. They just bubble back up to the surface sooner or later, usually accompanied by a hefty serving of guilt and a sense of failure. My food goal this year will not include the words "diet" or "deprivation" because those are only short-term solutions that don't target the reason why I have allowed myself to gain so much weight over the years. My goal is to change my approach to food entirely and in the end affect a more holistic lifestyle change. I want to look at food in a more neutral fashion and not see my food choices as profoundly negative or positive. Food is nourishment, and shouldn't represent my ultimate failures or successes as a person. Again, like with my relationship with my body, I want to stop obsessing so much about food. I just need to let go.
Each time I post I also want to try naming one thing I like about myself, whether that is something about my body, my personality, whatever. It feels awkward doing this now but I hope that over time it will become more natural. It isn't supposed to be an exercise in self-flattery but a way for me to reprogram the way I see myself. It is so much easier for me to think about all the things I hate about myself and I need to create a balance. I am not going to be willfully blind to my flaws - I just want to put the focus on my strengths in the hopes that it will help me accept myself more (flaws included). Here goes:
#1. I like the fact that I have a body that was able to nourish and give life to two beautiful babies for 35 weeks and 2 days (just under term for twins).
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